Magic and Mayhem

I’ve been making more of an effort to spend quality time regularly with each of the kids and it’s so tricky.

Ever since Alex’s arrival a year ago, I’ve been conscious of each of the kids needing more of me. We regularly spend a lot of time together as a family — almost all of our time, as a matter of fact. We also regularly break off into smaller sets to do things one-on-one or at least two-on-one.

That said, children seem to have a deep need for regular real, focused time with parents. Or at least mine do. It can be a challenge to do enough of it with all 3 of the older kids regularly.

Today Anna played fashion photographer and I modeled for her outside. I let her choose my outfits, style my hair and do my makeup. She picked her favorite shots and we printed them out with lots of blank space on the pages for her to write articles about “how to be stylish when you’re a busy mom doing it all.” LOL This was all her idea! She plans to sell the magazines.

Later in the day, Jack and I took a walk with Alex in the stroller. We went downtown to find a small present for him, since I told him the other day I would get him one. They roll up the sidewalks in our little town at 5 so the two things closest to gift stores were already locked up. We hit the grocery store and settled on a tiny tablet of colored paper that he happily took home and made into tablets for the rest of the family.

I was glad that I managed to squeeze those times in with Jack and Anna, but it didn’t seem to fill their tanks much. Anna complained later that I never play with her the way I play with Jack, and Jack complained that I hadn’t played with him in days and that walks don’t count. He said he just wanted to play with me for ten minutes, so I set the oven timer for 10 minutes before bedtime and got out the playdough. That (and hot cocoa just for him) seemed to finally do the trick– for that day.

It would be easy enough to get angry at the kids for being ungrateful, to give up, to feel unappreciated. I know my kids though. They need special time with their dad and with me as much as they need their vitamins and baths. It fills their tanks, balances their emotions, gives them time to talk about things that are bothering them, makes them feel loved and special and valued. It also improves their behavior and helps them be more loving, giving, helpful and kind back at the rest of us.

I read a long time ago that you can only give your attention to a maximum of 3 things in your life at one time. That sounds easy enough until you think of all the things that are competing for your attention– housework, job, spouse, children, homeschooling, church, volunteer work, friends, cooking, exercise, hobbies, even the internet and television. (Luckily, there’s nothing good on TV lately. ;)) But it’s more daunting yet if you focus on each of the kids separately.

This month, my priorities are the house, playing with the kids and working in the yard and gardens. Meals have been simpler, homeschooling has been more laid back and sleep has been in short supply. Luckily, Daryl and I are in sync right now and we can enjoy each other without large time commitments. We are a good team.

I have been spending my days balancing tackling the ever-messy house and gardens with making dandelion dishes, playing spaghetti ball and whiffle ball, swinging at the playground, exploring the neighborhood, stacking blocks on the floor, snuggling up with kids and piles of books, having long talks, getting made up and playing pirates.

It seems to be helping all of us. The crankiness seems to lessen the more we fill our days with this stuff. It’s not so good for catching up on laundry but I can live with that. My first baby is already ten and there are only so many years left when she will even want to play with her mama.

And if my responsibilities include blowing bubbles and playing pirates, I’ve got a pretty blessed life.