I’m working on plans right now. Not in the typical homeschool mama scheduling sort of way, but as a sort of crisis management plan.
My issues are:
- This summer, I was diagnosed with another autoimmune disease and some problems with my brain (nothing fatal, but apparently some form of epilepsy that is happening quite often each day). I was also diagnosed with some issues with my blood and stomach, and some deficiencies, but those are the two biggies.
- I need to find a new balance for homeschooling and properly parenting five children.
- I need to find a balance for writing four columns that I rely on increasingly more to pay the bills.
- I need to get my house in some sort of working order. I have never been much of a housekeeper but when I am sick or overextended I get messier, and this summer was a whole lot of both of those.
- I desperately want to get my book (A Magical Childhood) finished and published, in one form or another. I know it’s not the best timing but it never has been and I don’t want to die someday with it 90% finished on my computer somewhere, having spent my whole life putting it off until that “right time.”
- We had planned to move Victoria to the attic and move Anna into her room and Jack into Anna’s room, since Victoria was going off to art school. She’s back home but all the kids want to move things around anyway and it was half done, so we’re working really hard to finish all that relocating. That means major work right now in clearing the rest of the attic, getting it painted and prepped, getting other rooms painted and prepped and on and on.
- It is fall, and that means a whole lot of work around here. In-town homesteading is part of how we get by on next to nothing, and that means some major effort in the harvest season. It doesn’t matter if my brain is short circuiting and Fiona is hanging onto my skirt when my kitchen is full of 4 bushels of free apples, 2 bushels of wild pears and a basket of acorns all needing to be processed and my garden is exploding with stuff to harvest, freeze, dry, dig and pluck. That’s not even getting into the elderberries to turn into flu-fighting syrup and the others that need to be picked at the county park and the walnuts and the grapes and the plums and the pumpkins….
I have been feeling overwhelmed and overextended. Truth be told, I have also been having a little bit of a pity party for myself. I wish that I had more friends nearby. I wish that I had help with the kids or the house or something, outside of Daryl and the kids themselves. I wish I had any family alive, other than some long-lost (wonderful) cousins and a grandma and aunt in Ohio. I wish I had a tribe.
I wish I had a girlfriend who’d come over and drink wine with me.
I had paid to have someone come and help with the house and that didn’t work out. That person isn’t in a place to help me right now, and I need to just accept that and save myself instead.
So September is my month to save myself, migraines and seizures and clingy toddlers and messy house and all.
September is my month to get back in a homeschool schedule, to knock out that fall work, to take baby steps when I need to and monster steps when I can.
My goal is just to breathe, push, breathe, push, just like having a baby. Sometimes you just need to keep on going, cuz it’s not going to get better until you get it done.
Wish me luck!